


Still Feel the Same

by failurebydesign



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Future Fic, Kid Fic, M/M, Surrogacy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-30
Updated: 2015-06-30
Packaged: 2018-04-06 22:12:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4238460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/failurebydesign/pseuds/failurebydesign
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>"Or you can start working on that room across the hall, maybe," Louis asks.</i>
</p><p> </p><p>  <i>There's a light in Louis' eyes that Liam recognizes and his heart begins to race for a second time. The room across from theirs was supposed to be the 'superhero room,' but after Zayn and Perrie had their first child, they agreed to save the room for something much bigger than a life sized Iron Man -- figuratively, of course.</i></p><p>  <i>"But that's for--" Liam idly twists the soft cotton of Louis' shirt around his fingers and can't help the overwhelming feeling of love that makes his heart swell. He doesn't want to say it, in case he misread Louis.</i></p><p>  <i>"Yes, Liam, a baby."</i></p><p>Or after One Direction comes to an end and the boys go their separate ways, Liam is determined to put together a reunion. As it's often said, things don't always go as planned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Still Feel the Same

**Author's Note:**

> smirnofflilo prompted for fic based off of the line " I can count on you after all we got up to." This was supposed to be a cute 1k ficlet that turned into much more than I'd anticipated.

"There comes a time when even the best parts of your life need to come an end." Liam's hands grip the microphone stand, unable to look out at the crowd. His family is out there, somewhere, but he's not looking for them. He can't. Not when he can already picture his parents, proud but teary-eyed. It's something everyone knew was coming and yet the audience grows silent. 

He had a speech planned out, something about how one thing ending leads to something new. There's bigger, better opportunities out there for all of them. But he can't bring himself to say it. Liam's always been the first to answer the toughest questions, to reassure the fans that they're not breaking up just yet, but that was then. He can't bring himself to admit that the day their fans have been dreading is minutes away. Louis pats him on the back, a signal that it's okay to be upset.

"I think what Payno is trying to say is that we're so thankful to have all of your support for the past several years!" Louis points out into the audience but doesn't look at anyone in particular.

Liam raises his head when even Louis doesn't address it. He doesn't know what's worse -- the ache in his chest that tells him he's letting their fans down or the loss of constant companionship from the boys he's practically grown up with. They knew they'd have to go their separate ways eventually.

Niall takes over, somehow is able to explain that while this is the end, it isn't the last any of them will be seen. Harry's taken a role in an upcoming film, Louis has his record label, Liam's turned to producing and Niall's considering a serious golf career when he isn't writing music. Niall went on to thank the band, the crew and everyone else who's become family after years of touring. He could probably talk all night and Liam wishes he would. It's then he introduces the final song of the night -- their last performance as One Direction.

"This ones for you!" Harry raises an arm up, trying to pump up the audience even through eyes welling up with tears. It's no surprise Harry's crying. He's always been the baby of the group and even though he's grown up, Harry's still young and nowhere near the peak of his career. 

For an upbeat song, the last one is the toughest performance of Liam's life. He's a performer. He can fake a smile and put on a show, but if his eyes match those of his band mates, then he looks just as heartbroken as the rest. It's almost comical how the four of them are jumping around, putting their all into a song they've breezed through the past few years.

He catches Louis' gaze and can't help but smile. The loud, obnoxious boy who Liam was sure would drive him to quit changed everything Liam thought he knew. Louis was why he's still here. It's difficult to get through the song, even if it's one they've all grown tired of. It's godawful, even if Liam won't admit it. It did rocket them onto the charts, after all.

When the song comes to an end, the screams and cheers continue.

"Thank you!" It's all Harry can get out between blowing kisses and wiping away tears. Niall stays close and squeezes Harry around the waist. 

Liam can't help but notice how close the two of them had gotten -- how much things have changed. What began as a group of five terrified strangers morphed into something indescribable. Zayn left and without a doubt took a piece of Liam (and undoubtedly the other three) with him. It was hard, on all of them, but Liam still wonders what he could have done to prevent it. None of them broke contact, but he almost skipped out on Zayn's wedding to Perrie when Louis, of all people forced him out of bed. 

"We love you!" Liam shouts as he looks out into the crowd one last time.

The noise doesn't die down, even when the lights do. Liam feels as if he's unable to move, feet cemented there center stage. It's Louis' hand at his elbow that brings him back and lets him know that it's time to go.

Liam returns the gesture in a half hug that's enough for Louis to finally bow his head and cover his face with a palm. He knows it isn't like Louis to cry in front of anybody if he can help it, which tugs at Liam's heart harder than he's expecting. 

The four come together center stage and form a circle, hugging one another like they've done countless times and usually under happier circumstances. They all expected this someday, with five of them in this position and maybe with them all a bit older. It doesn't seem real, but they're all in agreement that it does seem right. 

*

Five years came and went and even after talks of a mini reunion, it hasn't happened yet. Harry isn't the best actor, but he's quirky and it seems to be selling so he takes most offers that come his way. Liam's okay with it since he still calls and he's dragged Louis out to every red carpet event and watched every film he's been in since. They'll meet up on occasion for lunch, though Liam's stopped letting Harry pick the restaurant after 'the kale incident.' If he ever sees a thick, green kale based shake again, it'll be too soon.

Niall plays guitar on tour with a female fronted band he's written music for when he's not working on solo projects or playing golf for charity. He opened up his own pub in Dublin that's been packed nightly, in part with thanks to Harry, who filmed a few scenes of his latest movie inside.

Liam has yet to visit the pub since Niall is hardly around and he's on a strict deadline himself. He isn't touring and selling out stadiums anymore, but he's close to finished with production on a record that he and Louis spent the past few months writing for an upcoming female artist.

On most days, Liam can't wait to sit down and write or jet off to a studio, but he's been given strict orders by everyone around him to 'relax and take some time off.' He knows it's serious when even Louis, who does everything big, tells him to take a break. It's how he ends up going through boxes and stacks of books that he hasn't looked at in awhile. While it's still technically work, he gets away with it by turning a football match on in the background.

"You gonna sit here all day?" Louis drops down on to the sofa next to Liam, who's lost in some sort of scrapbook that's beginning to wear at the binding.

"No," he shakes his head and turns the page. There's a picture of the two of them that was taken around a year after the band ended. Louis' dressed up in a suit, hair up in a perfect quiff and Liam is all smiles, arms around his shoulders. "This was a good day, yeah?"

"Yeah," Louis smiles. It's the day his record label won its first big award and Liam had been there all the way, supporting his every move. They'd come out as a couple a year and some months prior and though Liam was worried it would hurt there careers, it seemed to help launch them in to some sort of power couple. "I liked that night even better." Louis looks to Liam with a glint of something in his eyes.

Liam had been nervous that entire day. If Louis hadn't won the award, things would have been okay in the end, but it would've put a damper on Liam's big plans. Luckily, he won. What started out as a night of celebrating an award turned into so much more. Louis had just finished what was probably his sixth interview when Liam managed to get him all to his own for a few moments.

"Do you remember what I said?" Liam bites his lip and runs his thumb over the band on his finger. There's no way Louis' forgotten that night, not when Liam got down on his knee in a lit up courtyard garden and asked Louis to be his husband.

"You said, 'hey ya dumb arse, let's get hitched!'," Louis quips with a little smirk.

"I said no such thing!" Liam nudges Louis' side with a little laugh. Several years of friendship, a few of realizing they're practically dating, two of actually dating and one and a half of marriage and just when he thinks he's got Louis figured out, Louis proves him wrong.

"I know." Louis leans his head on Liam's shoulder, tangles their fingers together and just like that, Louis goes from sarcastic to sweet. "You said," he clears his throat, "Louis, you were the one for me way back when we barely knew any better and you're still the one for me now."

"And you'll always be," Liam whispers and presses a kiss into Louis' hair.

"Always."

"Even when I'm old?" Liam looks down at their hands. They're still so young, still have so much more to do together. He's heard stories of relationships slowing down and getting a bit dull after marriage, but not with Louis. Every day is a new adventure.

"Even when this gorgeous head of hair of mine is long gone."

Louis wiggles his eyebrows and it causes Liam to groan. They've joked about it before, but it's nothing Liam wants to picture when his favorite thing to do at night his run his fingers through Louis' soft, freshly washed hair.

"Let's order lunch, yeah?" Liam closes the book before he reaches the end. There's still a few pages they're saving for 'something' though neither knows what that means.

"Yeah, I'll call. Chinese, orange chicken?"

"You know me well," Liam smiles, eyes crinkling at the corners.

"That I do, Payno. That I do."

*

There's brief talk of a reunion -- not a whole tour, just a singular performance if they can pull it off. Zayn's even in, if it doesn't conflict with his own schedule. Liam isn't sure where they'd perform. Countless awards shows have reached out already, but it's near impossible for the five of them to find the perfect time that works for everyone.

Liam's buried in his work, frustrated that they had to turn down another potential reunion. He doesn't fault Niall for taking a small touring gig instead, they'd all agreed a reunion would come either at the right time or not at all. Liam's not so sure it'll happen anymore. Rather than pine over what could have been, he tucks himself away in his office and scribbles out how he's feeling in a beat up notebook.

"Liam!" Louis bursts into the office and it's enough to make Liam nearly jump out of his seat.

"Jesus, Lou, what?" He rests a hand over his chest, heart beating heavily beneath it all. "Forget looking for a platform, Niall's out this time."

Louis wrinkles his nose, walks on over and sits on the edge of his desk, feet dangling down. He doesn't seem too upset about the change of plans but then again, Louis always did better st adapting to change -- or at least never admitted to it when he was down.

"Forget the reunion," Louis shrugs and reaches out for Liam's hand. "Don't have time."

"We have plenty of time, Louis." Liam knows he promised the others that they wouldn't reschedule things for a reunion, that it wasn't a priority, but Liam would cancel it all in a heartbeat just to have the five of them together on stage again for one more night. If Louis was planning on backing out, too, he doesn't want to know.

"We talked about this, c'mon." Louis cups Liam's face and his cheeks squish together in a way that makes Louis smile. 

Liam would be angry if it weren't for Louis' soft laugh that follows. It must be good enough for Louis, who gets up from the desk and repositions himself in Liam's lap.

"We'll wait for Niall and try again. It's only a few months." Liam forces out a smile that he himself almost believes. "I'll keep writing for my new album, keep myself busy until then."

"Or you can start working on that room across the hall, maybe," Louis asks.

There's a light in Louis' eyes that Liam recognizes and his heart begins to race for a second time. The room across from theirs was supposed to be the 'superhero room,' but after Zayn and Perrie had their first child, they agreed to save the room for something much bigger than a life sized Iron Man -- figuratively, of course.

"But that's for--" Liam idly twists the soft cotton of Louis' shirt around his fingers and can't help the overwhelming feeling of love that makes his heart swell. He doesn't want to say it, in case he misread Louis.

"Yes, Liam, a baby."

Whatever Liam was working on isn't all that important anymore. A page of self pitying song lyrics no longer hold their meaning when he's so happy he could cry and yet it's Louis with tears in his eyes. Liam doesn't need words and instead, wraps his arms tightly until Louis is nestled in under his arm.

"Do you think we're ready?" Liam asks, though he's pretty sure both Louis and his mother became ready the moment his youngest siblings outgrew their cribs. 

"I've been ready for ages, c'mon, let's do it," Louis slips his arm around Liam's waist and stares up at him in a way Liam's never been able to say no to. Not that he would to this. This was big.

"Okay, let's do it," Liam nods. It's a big decision that's more than likely going to push the reunion back at least another year, but he's without a doubt ready. "Let's have a baby.

*

Surrogacy is nothing Liam knows anything about, or so he's learning. He's also learned that it's a lot of work on his end, as well. There's strict rules and more restrictions than hes realized, but tells himself that it'll be worth it, even if he has to give up sex for a few months. It's the only way to be sure he's provided a decent enough sample. For what he thought was going to be a one time wank in a cup is actually proving to be a much more daunting task than he expected.

After his third visit, Liam begins to wonder if this is something he's going to have to do for years on end just for one baby. He always thought they'd flip a coin or something to determine who'd be the birth father, but it was Louis who immediately volunteered Liam.

"You knew this was going to be exhausting, didn't you?" Liam bites his lip when he meets Louis back in the waiting room, cheeks slightly flush and cup in hand. He's never going to get used to handing his samples off to some woman who knows what he's just been doing, even if it's for science, or something.

"Shoulda brought me in there. I would have helped." Louis wiggles his eyebrows, causing the woman behind the counter to clear her throat. Last time Louis had that brilliant idea, Liam had forgotten to grab the cup, defeating the purpose of that visit.

"Do you want a baby or not?" Liam reprimands Louis, but smiles nonetheless.

"Well all that work isn't going to do us any good if we don't find somewhere to put it!" Louis gets up from where he'd been waiting and waves the stack of papers he'd been thumbing through. "Narrowed the list down some while you were off playing with yourself," he winks and then ducks away from Liam.

Liam rolls his eyes with a laugh and grabs the papers, reading over the few on top. Most of the women are brunette with dark eyes, because Louis' got his mind set on having a miniature Liam. There's one they've been rather fond of from the start, despite not knowing what she looks like, but Liam doesn't want to jump the gun. It's a huge decision that they need to be sure of. 

When the list is finally down to three and Liam is sure he's donated enough to make a baby -- or at least have a great attempt, they turn in the paperwork. Liam feels accomplished, certain that any of the three will be great candidates, hopeful that at least one is still looking to carry a child. He's been reassured countless times that the database is updated frequently, but it's only Louis who can calm his anxious mind.

"Just think, we'll hear from them soon and then we can go back to having sex again -- without a cup." Louis grins, when they settle into bed for the night.

It makes Liam laugh, at least.

*

Liam is barely out of bed when he hears Louis shouting in another room. He pulls on a pair of joggers that ended up crumpled next to the bed and finds Louis in the kitchen, head in his hands.

"Fucking unbelievable," he mutters, staring at a cup of tea that's probably gone cold by now.

"What's wrong?" Liam hasn't seen Louis this visibly upset in awhile. It's particularly concerning by the way he doesn't bother looking up when Liam places a hand over his shoulder.

"The fucking tabloids, what else." Louis wrinkles his nose and pulls up an article on his phone, something on The Mirror, which Liam already knows is going to be trouble.

The headline isn't what he's expecting. 'Surrogate spills the beans,' is stretched across the top of the page, above the picture of a woman Liam can only guess was one of the potential candidates for surrogacy. He didn't think twice about the paperwork the surrogate would sign, how their names somehow got thrown into the mix. There was confidentiality paperwork, talks with lawyers and hours of making sure that every loophole was covered -- except for one that included backing out. 

"She's obviously no longer in contention," Louis says bitterly. 

Liam checks twitter against his better judgement and as suspected, news of them trying for a child's already spread like wildfire. There's countless tweets at the two of them, girls eager and willing to volunteer their bodies for the cause. Liam would laugh if he weren't feeling that the very one thing he had between just he and Louis was now laid out there for the public to speculate on.

"We'll get a really good lawyer, she can't get away with this, right?" Liam can't get the article out of his mind. How the woman so easily gave up on them for a little bit of money. It makes him uneasy to think about what they'd have done if she actually went through with it -- if she backed out after she'd gotten pregnant.

"What's the point? Story's out there," Louis shrugs. "Now we're back to square one."

Liam sighs, because he's always one for taking troubling news as a sign. He knows it drives Louis crazy -- there's no logical reason why a possible surrogate going to the paparazzi is a sign that they shouldn't have a baby.

"Maybe we should--"

"No," Louis interrupts before Liam's even able to complete his own thoughts. "Don't you even think about backing down. We're going to do this, Liam. After all the shit we've been through? No giving up here." 

"Okay," he says softly, knowing that if anyone needs to be reassured, it's Louis. Liam is careful in the way he brushes the back of his hand over Louis' cheek. He's warm, but not in the way Liam would expect from someone who had sounded so angry. There's a slight dampness left on his skin and Liam already knows that Louis had quickly wiped his tears away before he made it to the kitchen. His heart aches for Louis, who tries so hard to be strong for him. "We're going to do this. Promise." 

"Okay," Louis nods and buries his face into Liam's chest.

*

The agency calls much sooner than they're expecting, apologetic, but Louis doesn't seem to care. He'd have gone for a settlement if it wasn't so much the agencies fault as it was that of the nosy surrogate. 

"Our first choice got back to the agency. Guess she saw our story and wanted to help out. Can you believe it?" Liam's hands are still shaking. He knows he should have waited for Louis, shouldn't have said yes so quickly after the last near disaster, but he has a good feeling this time. She was their first choice, after all.

"Shit," is all Louis says. 

The next several months aren't easy. Liam has constant contact with the doctors, but nothing seems to be sticking yet. From what he understands, it's much harder to make a baby when you're trying to implant something as opposed to the old fashioned way. Louis jokes about giving the surrogate a night time visit and Liam just playfully shoves at his arm.

Not that he could. Neither know her name.

Liam is in the studio, hours deep into production when his phone buzzes a few times. He's used to Louis keeping him updated on everything from his own work to when he's taking a wee break, so he doesn't rush to answer. It's 2:00, so Liam chalks it up to being another 'currently weeing' text.

His phone buzzes two more times before he decides to check it.

"Alright boys, break for lunch."

Liam grabs his phone from his pocket and isn't sure why Louis felt the need to text him with 'call me' repeatedly, but it makes his stomach twist in an uncomfortable way. There's a few missed calls as well, but he doesn't have time to go through them yet. He's about to text back with an 'ok' when his phone buzzes again, this time, Louis calling.

"I was just about to call you," Liam laughs nervously, afraid for what could come next.

"Jesus, Payno, did you call the agency back yet or what?" Louis sounds annoyed and lets out a little huff into the receiver.

"They said they'd call me, Louis," he says flatly. Liam knows, because he's called the agency almost every day, asking for updates. So far, nothing has changed. It's why he keeps his phone on all of the time, even when he's working.

"I think you should check your voicemail."

He doesn't hang up, just pulls his phone away from his ear and checks the notifications. There's a voicemail, but he figured it was just Louis trying to get him to skip out on work for some lunch and maybe a little fun -- even though he's not supposed to. Not yet. Just in case.

"Was that you?" Liam doesn't want to hang up. He's suddenly both excited and scared all at once.

"No," Louis' voice trails off. "Anyway, I'm on my way up, wait for me?" And like that, he hangs up.

Liam wants to check the voice mail the second he's off the phone. Louis knows something big. It has to be if he's not telling him over the phone. He's at the door long before Louis is and stares long and hard when he walks in, trying to get a solid read. Nothing.

"Well, are you going to tell me or what?" Liam closes the door when Louis is inside to give them a little privacy. It isn't like their current situation is a secret anymore, but Liam has no idea what he's about to be told or how he'll react.

Louis gives a small smile but says nothing. Instead, he motions his head to the phone Liam forgot he's got a tight grip on. 

He has to sit down when he listens to it, because he doesn't think he can handle more awful news. If it's another case of a scared surrogate or the pregnancy just isn't taking -- or if there's something wrong with him, he just can't take that. Liam's hands shake when the voice comes in clear through the message. 

It's not until the he hears it that word, 'congratulations,' that Liam knows everything is about to change. He almost forgets to hang up when he jumps up from the couch and wraps his arms tightly around Louis.

"How long have you known?" Liam mutters, face pressed into Louis' neck. He's pretty sure they're both crying now, but it's the best kind.

"I came over here as soon as I heard."

When Louis lifts his head and their eyes meet, Liam brushes away a stray tear with his thumb. There's no need to cry. They're having a baby.

*

They don't do everything traditionally, like have a baby shower or any of that typical nonsense but neither mind. It's hard to play games involving a baby when there's no belly present, anyway. 

It's hard to keep busy at first, the thought of something he's created so small and precious growing somewhere that he's unable to see. They're sent a sonogram and Liam sets it as his phone wallpaper. Hanging it on the refrigerator isn't enough.

About four and a half months in, they find out they're having a boy.

Louis doesn't waste any time buying just about everything he can find in the color blue and they set aside a Saturday when they can paint the nursery. When they're finished, Louis has more paint on himself than the walls, but it looks nice.

"I was thinking," Louis says, trying to scrub the blue paint from his cheek. "He's going to look a lot like you. What do you think of the name James?"

"I think that's my middle name," Liam smiles.

"I know that." Louis turns off the sink and takes Liam's hand into both of his. "He'll be my mini Liam."

"James it is," he says with a feeling of nothing but absolute adoration and can't believe how lucky he is.

The weeks pass by with occasional sonogram photos and speculation from the media on the due date. They've been pretty good on keeping it quiet, even after a few fans figured out it would be sometime in mid August. Fitting that their mini Liam is due not long before his own birthday.

Niall surprises them in the middle of touring with news that he's coming for a surprise visit with plenty of gifts for the baby. When he arrives and Liam opens the door, he's surprised to find he's not alone.

"Congratulations!" Harry bursts in and gives Liam the biggest hug. Zayn follows, though he's much quieter than Harry, who's already asking to see the nursery.

"Thought you wouldn't mind," Niall says rather sheepish. "Brought beer!"

It isn't the type of reunion they'd been hoping for, but it's the first time the five of them had been in a room together in ages. They decide to gather around the fire pit out back and reminisce of the days when they were all far too young to understand what luck they had.

"Do you think we'll ever perform together again?" Harry asks, warming his hands on the fire.

"I dunno," Louis shrugs. "Didn't think we'd still be so busy. And a baby, that'll be a lot of work."

It's Zayn who nods, understanding that all too well. They'd thought about a reunion then, right before his daughter was born, but quickly realized how little time he had to entertain the idea between his own music and diaper duty.

"Just one performance, that'll be enough " Niall says and then finishes off his beer.

"Someday." Liam doesn't want to make any promises. For how much it hurt to be let down in the past, he's doing okay. A reunion does sound nice, but for now, he thinks this is enough. "This is the start of a reunion though, innit?" He looks around and smiles. "We're all together."

"You're right" Niall nods and opens another beer. "To reunions."

"To reunions," the other four repeat.

*

Liam listens to Louis' soft, peaceful breathing and stares up at the ceiling, wishing he could fall asleep. He's not sure how Louis can sleep so easily, knowing James' due date has come and gone without any signs of labor. Liam's own birthday was just two days prior. The first sleepless hour was spent reading a baby book that's only brought up a whole new series of questions and worries. He can't believe he grabbed a generic book on baby care, full of things 

"What if he doesn't like me? I read about how there's this maternal bonding that happens when the baby's still inside. What if he hates me from taking him away from her?"

"Liam, shh," Louis shakes his head and presses a finger to Liam's lips. "That baby is going to look at you the same way that I do. Like you're his absolute world." And then, Louis looks at him in a way that makes his stomach swoop, like they're young, sneaking out to go climb on top of their hotel roof to kiss in secret all over again.

"I love you," Liam whispers, Louis' response cut off by a kiss.

Louis pulls Liam in, sucks at his bottom lip until he gasps and oh so subtly slips a hand down the front of his joggers. They're far from out of that 'no sex until the baby's made' phase, but its been so long that Liam nearly bats him away.

"Come on, can't sleep now anyway," Louis says and wiggles out of his own pajama bottoms. 

It's nothing romantic, Louis sprawled out and Liam kissing lovebites into his neck rutting against his thigh until he's impatient and whining. It reminds him of the days long ago, them on their first tour, far too desperate for one another. Liam remembers the first time Louis snuck into his bunk, got a hand around his cock and made him come three times that night. He'll be lucky if he can manage once now, mind still slightly distracted. That is until Louis bends a knee and works his lube slicked fingers into himself with a sly grin turned moan.

"Jesus, impatient much?" Liam pushes Louis' other leg up to his chest to get a better view. "Look so good, baby." 

Louis has three fingers in, pressing into them with short, soft moans until he shudders and slips them out. Liam takes it as a sign he's ready and crawls in between his legs.

"Oh God, don't tease, fuck me," Louis whines when Liam goes slow, pushing just the head of his cock past the rim. He pulls his knees up tighter to his chest and gives Liam a look that says 'hurry up already.'

Liam gets a hand around one of Louis' wrists and pins it over his head when he slips inside, watching Louis' jaw go slack when he bottoms out.

There's no time for slow when they're both already desperate, Louis trying his best to fuck himself on Liam's slow moving cock. It's enough encouragement and he rolls his hips down, fucking into him hard and fast.

"Fuck, finally!" Louis shouts out. 

Under normal circumstances, Liam would stop, tease him a bit and try again. But he's far too gone, remembering just how much he loves this -- how much it sucked to have to resort to wanking into a cup for months on end. Even when he could finally have sex again, it took some time to want to.

It doesn't take long and Liam would be embarrassed, but Louis isn't complaining by the looks of things. Liam wraps his hand around Louis' dick and gives him a few fast strokes until he's writhing beneath him. He comes in quick, messy spurts over his stomach and wipes a bit of sweaty fringe from his eyes when he collapses back onto the mattress.

Liam pulls out quickly and barely has time to wrap a hand around his cock when he moans, covering Louis' thigh with ropes of come. He sinks down, thighs burning slightly and kisses the side of Louis' head. 

They're sweaty, sticky and Liam should probably drag them into the shower, but it's the first time he's felt tired in weeks and so they sleep.

Liam's woken up by a ringing that won't stop. He's sure it's still late. Louis is asleep next to him, unphased by the ringing. He rubs his eyes and reaches for his phone -- that's what's ringing, and realizes what this could mean.

"Louis!" He gives him a shake and Louis groans. Good enough. He answers the phone quickly, apologizing over and over for not answering straight away at what turns out to be four in the morning. It's not how he expected to hear that James was on his way. His first instinct is to rush on over there, but the surrogate's water had broken not long before the call. It could still take hours.

"Baby?" Louis manages to get out, still half asleep and Liam can barely reply.

They settle on taking a rushed shower, together and full of excited kisses. Liam almost forgets to wash the shampoo from his hair with all of the excitement. He stumbles through the house, pulling on a pair of clean jeans and sending a quick text to their mothers with 'it's time!!!'

Louis has to drive because as expected, Liam is a complete nervous wreck.

*

No baby book was able to accurately describe the painstakingly slow task of waiting that Liam has endured throughout the whole process. Waiting for a surrogacy match, waiting for fertilization and now, finally, pacing a small room and waiting for the birth of his son. 

Louis hasn't been able to sit either, cursing that he's unable to smoke inside, but isn't about to leave Liam there by himself. He only leaves the room briefly, to get some crisps to eat and a coffee for Liam.

"Anything yet?" Louis asks, handing Liam his coffee.

"No, I'm beginning to think it was a false alarm. Those happen, right?" Liam has read enough to know that at times, it can seem like labor even when it isn't. That maybe she thought she was having the baby, but James isn't ready yet. "Can babies change their mind?"

"Liam," Louis scrunches his nose with a little laugh. "I thought you've read the books. Babies can't just decide not to come out."

Liam thinks back to his own birth, or what his mother had told him, anyway. There were complications, though unlike James, he'd come much earlier. He doesn't want to think about how scared his mother must have been when he was born, so small and not breathing. How she made it through such a scary situation, not knowing if there were any saving him. 

He's ready to remind Louis of this, he's done it before, but the door opens and he's unable to find the words.

"Congratulations," the nurse smiles when she peeks in. "You have a healthy, beautiful baby boy. You can come see him in just a few minutes." 

When she leaves, Liam pulls Louis into a hug. He doesn't know if James will have his eyes or look the way he did when he was born, but it doesn't matter. He's here, he's healthy and most importantly, he's theirs.

They hold hands when they walk down the hallway, and Liam can't help but wonder how long they can keep James' birth quiet. Surely soon enough the paparazzi will be trying their best to snap their first photography of him. The plan is to get him home quietly first, that way they can settle in to the newness without much chaos.

Louis let's go of Liam's hand when they reach the big windows and presses his palms to the glass, looking inside. There's several babies inside, but there's no way of telling which is theirs, if any. The nurse they'd spoken to not long ago wheels a cart down a hall that Liam quickly realizes carries their baby.

They're led into a private room where there's talks of release paperwork and formula to which Liam nods, but he's too focused on finally seeing their child. Louis goes first, gently lifting the small bundle into his arms and lowering himself on the hospital bed to sit.

"He's ours, Liam," he whispers, sounding close to getting choked up.

Liam sits next to him, arm around Louis' back and just smiles. It's worth it, he thinks, how much they've gone through and what they've sacrificed for this moment. Liam knows more than ever that it's Louis who he'll always count on.

Then, smiling wide and prouder than ever, he snaps a quick picture of the two things that he loves more than anything in the world: his husband and their newborn son.


End file.
